blog.mjwedeking » joke http://blog.mjwedeking.com all about me Wed, 26 May 2010 04:08:38 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Ebonics http://blog.mjwedeking.com/bored/ebonics/ http://blog.mjwedeking.com/bored/ebonics/#comments Sat, 29 Mar 2008 05:03:03 +0000 Matthew Wedeking http://blog.mjwedeking.com/?p=9 Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy’s Ebonics homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.

1. Foreclose
If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.

2. Rectum
I had two Cadillac’s, but my bitch rectum both.

3. Hotel
I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the hotel everybody.

4. Disappointment
My parole officer tol’ me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.

5. Penis
I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.

6. Israel
Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, “man, it look fake.” He say, “Bullshit, that watch israel”.

7. Catacomb
I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.

8. Undermine
There’s a fine lookin’ ho living in the apartment undermine.

9. Acoustic
When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the poolhall.

10. Iraq
When we got to the poolhall, I tol’ my uncle iraq, you break.

11. Stain
My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, “Do you plan on stain for dinner?”

12. Seldom
My cousin gave me tickets to the nicks game, so I seldom.

13. Honor
At the rape trial, the judge axed my buddy, “Who was honor first?”

14. Dictate
My girfriend say my dictate good.

15. Odyssey
I tol’ my brother, “You odyssey the tits on that ho!”

16. Axe
After school today, the police want to axe me some questions.

17. Fortify
I axed this ho on da street, “how much?” she say “fortify.”

18. Income
I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.

]]> http://blog.mjwedeking.com/bored/ebonics/feed/ 1 Government Employees http://blog.mjwedeking.com/bored/government-employees/ http://blog.mjwedeking.com/bored/government-employees/#comments Thu, 27 Mar 2008 04:44:12 +0000 Matthew Wedeking http://blog.mjwedeking.com/?p=6 Three boys are on the playground bragging about their dads.  The first one says “My dad can throw a football from one end zone to the other end zone, run down the field and catch the ball.” The second boy says “Well my dad can pitch a baseball at 120 miles per hour, run to home plate, hit the ball, then run to the outfield and catch the ball.” The third boy says “My dad works for the government and he gets off work at 4 and is home by 3:30.”

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